Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
