That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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