I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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