I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
