And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
