The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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