But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
