The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
