woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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