Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
