let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
