He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
