There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
