you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
