Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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