you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
