I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
