Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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