please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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