It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
