what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
