kristin has been a bad kristin
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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