What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
