is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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