Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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