but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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