i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
