You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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