Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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