i jhust puked up my retainher.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
