I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
