It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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