Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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