As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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