My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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