sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
