is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize