Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
