Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
