I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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