Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
