You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
