It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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