you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
being pregnant is like rehab
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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