Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
