Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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