Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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