He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I want to make a zoo with you.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
