weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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