We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
